It's a baby . . . July 2nd, 2012

Yep, I sure do suck at non-infertility blogging.  The pregnancy was a bit of a whirlwind.  I had my share of 'morning' sickness, but nothing as bad as with RoBet.  I had aches and pains, but nothing as bad as with RoBet.  I had a difficult delivery that was shorter than, but every bit as complicated as with RoBet.  Due to both the baby and my intolerance of the epidural and Pitocin (medicine to make contractions stronger and more effective) together, I had the epidural turned off on me midway into my labor.  There were two problems with this.  First, I was mentally not at all prepared for a med free labor and had done no preparation for it (breathing techniques, meditation, soothing music playlist, etc.).  Second, I was into some very strong contractions by the time they turned it off. So I went from barely feeling or not feeling them to 'holy shit I'm gonna' mother effing die' pain.  The pain of labor, or so I am told, is much more bearable when it comes on gradually.  I guess there was a third reason - normally your cervix opens gradually over time, at a slow and steady rate.  Not necessarily all the same speed, but a centimeter or two and hour or so.  I shot from 5 cm to 10 cm in about 15 minutes.  It really, really sucked.  I was thrashing and cursing like a wild woman.  I punched the side of the bed and may or may not have bitten a pillow.  I was thinking I had 5 hours of labor to go when they turned the epidural off, and agreed to the c-section after about 5 or 10 minutes of the pain.  The nurse had them prep the room for surgery, came and shaved my belly, and the people were there to wheel me to the   OR when I told the nurse I felt like I had to poop (which is what it feels like when baby starts coming down into the birth canal).  She and I both didn't think much off it since she had checked me only about 15 minutes, or possibly less, earlier, but she figured a final check before I headed for surgery wouldn't hurt.  I was completely dilated, effaced, and baby's head was moving down to a 0 station (meaning fully engaged in the birth canal).  Station is like this, -3 is floating, not engaged at all.  -2 is in place but not engaged.  -1 is engaged.  0 is full engaged (no going back now).  +1 is on the way down.  +2 is head is crowning and +3 means your baby is laying on the table.  My doc was 'on her way' and all of a sudden the room was full of people.  There had been merconium in my second gush of amneiotic fluid, meaning baby had pooped in it and possibly swallowed some (which can be very dangerous) so we had a NICU team in the room.  There were multiple nurses and crews of some sort running around getting the delivery tools set up.  I said I felt like I needed to push.  Nurse said, "go ahead honey, it might make you feel better to do a pBractice push.". I had my legs on the table as the stirrups were not in place yet and just gave a half assed push.  Doc was walking in right at that moment and said, "let's not do that anymore until we're ready.  You're at +2 now.". Mind you it took an hour and a half of pushing and a vaccume assist to get RoBet to a +2.  Doc and my nurse got everything ready, and I started pushing.  I pushed through about 3-4 contractions (hubby thinks it was fewer and he may be right) and out slid the baby.  From the time the epidural was turned off until baby came out was about 35-40 minutes.  Those were the most painful and frightening minutes of my life.  I seriously wanted to pass out to escape the pain.  As doc was unwrapping the cord, which was wrapped around baby's neck twice which explained why it wasn't tolerating things very well, she slid baby onto my belly and before anyone could say anything regarding the sex, I said, "penis, that's a penis".  Yep, we had our baby, and it was (well, still is) a boy!  This labor and delivery was much more dramatic than my last (at least from my perspective, since I didn't know I was on the cusp of a csection last time), and a ton more frightening, but it's over and I have my sweet baby napping on me as I type this.  Totally worth it all.

Lots of movement - February 7th, 2012

Just thought I'd poke my head into my own blog and let you know that all is well so far.  This kiddo is moving all around in there and still making me sick.  Today s/he decided that bananas were off limits.  I am 19 weeks pregnant today - almost half way there!  My anatomy ultrasound is scheduled for next week on the 15th.  We are not going to find out the baby's sex, but we are still excited to see her/him and ensure that growth is on track and all of the pieces and parts are there and where they should be.  We have no reason to believe that anything is wrong, but there's always that nagging fear in the back of my mind.  There's not much else to report on at this time.  Just trying to keep my food down and get over this nasty case of bronchitis that I developed a week and a half ago.  Bleh.  I'm tired of being a snot factory, and this cough sucks!  Oh what I wouldn't do for a nightly dose of NyQuil to help me rest!  heh.  Small price to pay for a healthy kiddo I guess.  =)  Well, hope you are all well out there in teh interwebz.  Good night!

What I Have

I am so thankful for what I have.  I have a delightful, healthy, sweet, and precious 20 month old little girl.  I have a hard working husband who loves me and works with me to allow me to stay at home with my child.  I have another, so far, healthy child on the way.  I have a safe and comfortable home in a nice neighborhood.  I have 6 healthy pets that I love despite their 'personal issues'.  I also have thoughtful, helpful, caring parents and a helpful sister and adorable nieces.  I have wonderful friends, both near and far, who I appreciate very much even if I don't see them as often as I'd like.  I have so much, and I am so thankful.

Still alive - still pregnant - January 8th, 2012

Sorry I've been MIA again.  This seems to happen whenever I actually hit the 'definitely pregnant' phase.  Apparently I'm a good infertility blogger, but not much good at any other type of blogging.  I had a second ultrasound at 11 weeks, and the little one was in there bouncing all over the place and starting to look very much like a micro-person.  I've felt some movement a few times, but nothing consistently.  It's still very early, so it's not unusual not to feel movement regularly.  I think that for a 'normal' person, feeling movement consistently starts around 18 - 22 weeks or so.  And the larger you are, the later it happens - and I'm a big girl, so I'm not worried about it.  We went to a delicious restaurant called "The Melting Pot" with several of our friends last night.  It is a fondue restaurant and very expensive and time consuming, so it was a real treat to go and spend that time with everyone.  It's my favorite restaurant - I just love it so much!  Apparently this baby loves it too, because by the time I got home (it's about a 45 minute drive home), kiddo was bouncing off the walls in there.  Must have been the last course, which is everything sweet dipped in chocolate.  Yum yum yum!  I am going to have to put together fondue meals at home, because I think this will be my constant craving this pregnancy.  heh.  And though the chocolate is good, it's actually not the part I'm craving.  I want the apples in cheese, the seafood cooked in broth and dipped in all sorts of sauces, the mushroom caps with 'green goddess' sauce, and the broccoli with yellow curry and yogurt sauce.  So, that will be my plan to get some recipes and put that together sometime very soon.  =)  OK, back to pregnancy . . .

I will be 15 weeks along on Tuesday, so making definite progress.  That's when my next OB appointment is too, so it will be nice to hear the heartbeat and know that everything is right on track.  We are definitely going 'team green' again this time, which means we aren't finding out the baby's sex until it is born.  That drives a lot of people batty, but we love that surprise when we meet the kiddo.  It was really fun doing that with RoBet - it was a wonderful bonus at the end of a long and difficult labor. 

There's not much else to report right now.  I got a new game for Christmas, The Elder Scrolls V - Skyrim, and I've been playing that way too much during RoBet's naps and after her bedtime.  My brother in law got me sick right after Christmas, and that really sucks while pregnant even more than when not pregnant.  You cannot believe what a world of difference DayQuil/NyQuil and other similar product make until you cannot have them!  Mostly better now, though still congested and have a little cough.  Bleh. 

Well, I hope everyone had a great holiday and is settling back into 'real life'.  Hopefully I'll update again in less than a month, but I'm not placing any bets on it.  =)

Another goodbye - December 4th, 2011

Tonight we said goodbye to our sweet little birdie Icarus.  He was a wild European Starling whose nest was destroyed outside our home 4.5 years ago.  He was absolutely defenseless - eyes still closed and no feathers on him, just a slight tuft of down.  We took time off of work to feed him every 20 minutes or so for the first few days, and thankfully feedings quickly spaced out to every few hours, allowing me to just rush home on my lunch hour to feed him.  He had about a 50/50 chance of making it through those first few weeks.  Yeah, he definitely made it.  He quickly 'imprinted' with humans, cats, and dogs meaning that he thought we were all his buddies.  Had we released him back into the wild when he was capable of flying and foraging for food (though he'd never been taught), he would have quickly been killed by a cat or dog that thought he was a snack or toy. So, we bought a huge indoor flight cage and kept him as a pet (he is one of two breeds of wild bird that are legal to keep as pets in our state).  He learned to say about 20 phrases over the years, which we and all of our friends and family found amazing.  Some favorites?  He would say "Good morning Icarus." and "I'll get you some fresh water." He loved to say "Hi!" and one time there were several birds at the feeder that we kept right outside the window next to his cage.  The window was open and he said "HI!" to the birds and they all flew off in fear.  It was so cute and sad too, because he just had no idea how to make other birdie friends.  Another favorite?  After we moved a year and a half ago, his new location was next to the back door where we let the dogs out.  So, he quickly learned to say, "Come on, come on!" to the dogs to get them to come back inside.  Amazingly, he never learned to say any swear words or 'shut up' or anything like that - only positive things.  He was an awesome little bird, and he was very loved.  He was so happy too - he just chattered up a storm all the time and flew around happily in his cage and dinged his bells all the time.  I would say "ding ding" and he would fly or hop over to his bells and ring them.  So adorable.  We will always remember that sweet little guy and how much amazement and happiness he brought into our lives over the years.  Goodbye sweet Icarus - you will be very missed darling bird.

In-laws and sick child - November 28th, 2011

Whew!  Last week was a whirlwind of cleaning, planning meals, and more cleaning!  My in-laws came on Friday morning and we had a second Thanksgiving dinner (first one was at my parents' house on Thursday).  I made a couple of dishes for Thursday, but had to make the whole meal for Friday.  I took all sorts of shortcuts, but it still wore me out!  I have also been on the cusp of getting sick for a few weeks now, and it finally caught up with me on Saturday.  Of course, it also caught up to RoBet the same day and her fever spiked to 103.  =(  Poor kiddo.  We ended up taking her to a children's urgent care facility in the next suburb over.  The trip took us 3 hours and was horrible with lots of screaming and crying and generally unhappiness from the kiddo.  By the time we got home, all of the pharmacies here were closed too, so she didn't get her first dose of antibiotics until Sunday morning.  Saturday night sucked.  She woke up every hour and was awake for 30 - 60 minutes each time.  Ugh.  So, it's been a crazy few days 'round here.  We're both starting to feel better now though, but I need to take the rest of her nap time to get some rest myself!  Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Update - a little late - November 21st, 2011

Sorry for the delayed update!  I had my appointment with my RE on Friday afternoon, and what we saw was exactly what the rational side of me expected.  One little bean, just in the right place, just the right size, with a heart beating away.  Yay!  Oh and the heart rate (HR)?  Remember that info I provided back for RoBet?  Probably not . . . so here it is.  A HR of of less than 140 generally indicates a boy.  Over 150 is generally a girl.  Ours was 140 - 150.  Ha!  Figures!  =)  Not that it really means much this early on, but still, that was hilarious to be there again!  So now I have been released to my OB - no more RE appointments - yay!  I called my OB's office today to make the appointment.  Of course, I couldn't even talk to someone to schedule an appointment - oh no, that would make my life too easy.  I left a message at 1:30 and did not receive a call back.  *sigh*  Dealing with medical offices is a royal pain in the ass. 

Disappearance of symptoms - November 15th, 2011

Hmm.  My symptoms seems to have disappeared over these past few days.  I really thought my nausea was reaching a crescendo and puke-fest was inevitably around the corner.  And then . . . nothing these last two days.  I'm a little nervous, but I do know that pregnancy symptoms come and go all the time and that no two pregnancies are exactly alike.  I am very eager to get to Friday.

Not much to report - November 12th, 2011

I'm still here.  I've been feeling nauseous and tired most of the last week, but nothing 'spectacular'.  heh.  RoBet has been on and off crankypants this week again.  I think she's been feeling a little under the weather and has been teething something fierce.  Hopefully it passes soon, because I suspect I'm about to get a while lot worse in the near future.  We went to library storytime this past week again, as I suspect I will be absent from all out-of-the-house activities soon for awhile.  Not much else to report.  The ultrasound is next Friday, so I should have a good update then!  Have a great weekend (and week)!

Ugh, thieves suck! - November 5th, 2011

I was getting ready to head out to the store to pick up a few items this morning, and wanted to quickly balance the checkbook before going.  I hopped online and checked our financials and saw that the credit card, which was supposed to be auto-paid yesterday, didn't get pulled out.  It sometimes takes a couple of days to show on the bank site, so I just wanted to verify it on the credit card site.  I went out to the CC site, and sure enough, it posted yesterday.  I quickly looked through the charges, since I was there, and saw two that didn't sound familiar to me from the past few days.  I asked hubby if he charged them, and he didn't recall it.  I figured it was some Christmas gifts that we had ordered and didn't remember, but wanted to dig a little further.  I googled the company name and it was a dating website.  Hmmm.  I was pretty darn sure that neither hubby nor I would be joining dating websites nor be stupid enough if we did to charge it to our joint credit card.  It was also interesting that the first charge was for $1 and the second for the full subscription price of $50.  I called my credit card company, and filed a dispute against the charges.  I asked them how likely it would be for this to be an accident and not something more sinister.  They said that it is incredibly common for thieves to charge a 'trial amount' of $1 on thousands and thousands of card numbers until they find one that works.  Once the charge goes through, their spending spree begins.  They then went through the list of 'pending charges' with me that included a third charge to the same company and another 'trial charge' to an online music purchasing website.  Great.  I closed the cards and have a new set on the way that are supposed to arrive on Monday.  We have about 10 different auto-pay accounts on the card and a dozen more that have the card saved to use.  *sigh*  It's going to be a lot of work to set up the new cards when they arrive and a pain to get the stolen charges cleared up, but it could have been a LOT worse.  I know it could have been terrible.  If I hadn't just hopped on the site for a quick check, I could have easily gone another week before looking at it, and by then they could have charged thousands of dollars worth of crap and the headaches would have been huge.  This is minor in comparison to what others experience as well, but it really scares the crap out of me.  I'm so happy I caught it early enough to not make my life a pain in the butt for the next several weeks/months. 

In pregnancy news, there isn't much news.  Just light cramping, slightly sore boobs, and on and off exhaustion.  Occasionally I've not felt 'well' in the tummy, but no more sickness just yet (thankfully!).  Oh, I finally got the progesterone results back from over a week ago!  They were down to 19.something from 32.something.  I was worried about that, but the nurse said that the numbers bounce all around and as long as it is over 15 consistently, we're just fine.  I asked if we should re-check it to be sure, and she said no, that is not necessary.  Plus, she said the placenta is taking over more and more as the pregnancy progresses and the progesterone becomes less and less important for a successful pregnancy.  We're not there yet, but that will be coming soon.

Tonight we are going to my parents' house to celebrate my sister's birthday.  I have to make some puppy chow (also known as muddy buddies) per a request from my sister.  I should go get on that, seeing as we will be leaving here in a couple of hours.  Hope everyone is doing well!

My little monster - October 31st, 2011

So here is my little monster for Halloween.  Isn't she just the cutest little monster?  And when she walks, she looks quite a bit like 'Boo' from Monsters Inc.  I hope you all had a fantastic Halloween!

Beta #4 Results - October 31st, 2011

Sorry for the delay!  Yesterday was very busy with trick-or-treaters and my kiddo has been a BEAR today!  Tantrums are only 1 minute apart and last 10 - 20 minutes apiece!  Ack! 

In good news my beta came back quickly yesterday.  On Friday it was 395, so if doubling every 48 hours continued, it would have been around 1200.  As it turns out, it was 1819 - it really took off!  Hooray!  So then the nurse wanted to schedule the ultrasound.  I was expecting it for this week, next Monday at the latest.  She asked me how I felt about the 18th!  I was shocked for it to be so far away!  She said that since everything looks good with this pregnancy and they have no concerns at this time, there is no reason to have an earlier ultrasound.  We'll be able to see more as I'll be nearly 8 weeks by that time, but man that is so far away!  So I guess it's good that there is no concern at this time - but I wanna' see my kidney bean! 

Beta #3 Results - October 28th, 2011

I had beta #3 drawn this morning, and already got the results back!  My RE's nurse really is awesome.  Today it was 395, which is fantastic!  That means it was just a little higher increase than doubling in 48 hours.  Woohoo!  I do have to go back again on Monday though (boooo).  And once it gets over 1100, they will schedule the ultrasound.  If all goes right, it will be around 1200 on Monday.  I thought they would wait until I was 6 weeks along to do the first ultrasound, because then they would have a higher probability to see the heartbeat.  So I'm not sure when they will schedule the ultrasound for - if it's the next day or a week out or what once it reaches that 1100 mark.  Because last time was so filled with uncertainty and fear of miscarriage and then ectopic, everything was just a whirlwind to me.  This time it feels much calmer, much more scheduled than last time.  At least it has since Wednesday.  Heh.  I am feeling so much more confident now though - I am no longer overcome by fear of losing this pregnancy.  I feel quite confident at this point that sometime around the first week of July, we will be meeting one healthy little baby (c'mon boy!).  This IVF process sure hasn't been what I expected it to be and it didn't feel like I expected it to feel, but we are on our way to the end goal.  And that feels pretty darn good.

Beta #2 - October 27th, 2011

Beta #2 came back much better than I expected.  185!  I was so worried it wouldn't go up at all, and it nearly doubled in 48 hours!  So, this little bugger is sticking in there so far!  Woohoo!  I do have to go back for one more round of bloodwork tomorrow - repeat quantitative beta and progesterone.  So I'm feeling much more confident now.  I can't wait to get past this phase and to the part where we see the little bugger on he ultrasound and then later feel her/him moving around.  First comes more exhausting and puking though.  heh.  I'll take it!

Beta results and onset of symptoms - October 25th, 2011

Teh interwebz ate my post!  I posted this morning, but I don't see it here now.  Hrumph.  And there isn't even a draft of it.  Phooey.  I'll recap what I had written.

Beta came in at 96.5.  That is pregnant, and not terrible, but not great.  With RoBet it was 233 at this same point (14 DPO).  233 was very high for a singleton though, so 100 isn't bad for just one bun in the oven.  What bugs me is that I got such an early BFP, that my levels should be higher now.  Some of you may want to tune out now - it's about to get technical.  The sensitivity of the tests that I used (Clearblue Easy Digital and Wondfos (also known as Amazon cheapies) is 25 (units aren't really important for this discussion).  Beta levels are supposed to double every two days.  So, if we assume that my level of hcG was 25 on Thursday, it can be assumed that a double was 50 on Saturday and 100 on Monday.  Since my level was slightly under 100, it HAD to be at 25 on Thursday for everything to be OK and doubling appropriately.  But what are the chances of it being exactly that and being picked up on the test?  Wouldn't it make more sense that it was 35 or 50?  If so, I am clearly not doubling my levels every 48 hours.  *sigh*  End result?  I absolutely hate this part of the process.  My levels did not double with RoBet (for reasons I can speculate on at another time), and it caused me no end of fear and stress.  If my level that they draw tomorrow (I'll get the results back Thursday) doesn't double, I'm going to ask that they just not do any more betas for a few days at least, hopefully for a week.  I just don't want to keep doing this every 2 - 3 days for two weeks like last time.  I don't want to over analyze each number and what it could mean.  I don't want to expect to miscarry - if it happens, there is nothing that will stop it, even if I know it's coming.  So, let it just happen then if that is what is going to be.  I don't want to worry that it might be coming for weeks on end.  Let me just be happy being pregnant, and if it happens, so be it.  For now though, I can still be optimistic, because I'm having symptoms!  Yay for feeling like shit!  Yesterday I was so exhausted that I took a nap during the day and went to bed early.  That is unusual for me - I prefer to be awake and doing things for as much time as possible.  I try to get 7 -8 hours of sleep a night, but that's usually enough.  Not yesterday!  And then, RoBet woke me up crying again last night (she's teething again) and I had to cut my time that I sat and rocked her short, because man I had to puke!  And I did.  Lots.  At midnight.  So, exhaustion and morning sickness are here.  Last time they waited until about 8 weeks to set in, so this is a bit on the early side!  But, hopefully they won't last as long this time, assuming the pregnancy is viable.  OK, that's the short version of my earlier post.  Off to bed for me!

Well - October 21st, 2011

My in-laws are coming to visit this weekend, so I was doing some cleanup yesterday after I put RoBet to bed.  My husband has been working second shift all this week, so I was on my own last night.  Having all of your evenings alone tends to make one a bit stir-crazy and do things they might not otherwise do.  So, around 8:00, I decided I needed to pee on a stick.  I took the test and after about 2 minutes, looked over and didn't see a second line.  I went about organizing some stuff and got some laundry out of the dryer and looked again.  I saw what I thought was a very faint second line.  Very faint, but there.  For sure there.  I took some pictures and tweaked them and really felt that second line was there, so I wanted to follow up with a digital test, which is pretty sensitive and says "pregnant" or "not pregnant", so it's a pretty sure thing.  But, I had dumped my concentrated urine out of the dixie cup, so I had to wait until I had to pee again.  And drinking lots of water to make yourself have to pee is no good, because then it will be diluted and might not produce the same result on the test at this low level of hcG in there.  So, I waited.  Finally about 9:45 or so I was able to work up enough to test again.  And the digital test flashes a little hour glass while it works.  It was working, and working, and working.  I swear, I started at it for like 3 full minutes before leaving the bathroom and folding some laundry.  I came back in and the damn thing was still working!  Arg!  So I impatiently folded some more laundry (I'll tell you, impatiently folded laundry looks and awful lot like patiently folded laundry).  After about 8 minutes total, I came back in and finally it popped up - "pregnant".  Well.  So much for not feeling pregnant.  You just never know, I guess.  So, I am now 11 days pregnant.  heh.  My due date is July 5th, 2012 - perfect for a little 'firecracker'.  This whole thing just feels surreal, it really does.  I cannot believe I have a little sac of cells burrowed into my uterus right now and growing.  I look at my daughter and try to remember what it felt like when she was just a little sac of cells burrowing in.  It feels like so long ago, even though it was just over 2 years ago.  I'm going to be a mother of 2, and that just kicks ass.

I sure don't feel pregnant - October 20th, 2011

So I sure don't feel pregnant.  I feel like I remember 'feeling pregnant' by this point the first time around.  I'm probably just psyching myself out, but I am just feeling like this didn't work.  I will be testing tomorrow morning.  That will be 7 days past 5 day transfer (7dp5dt) or the equivalent of 12 days past ovulation (12dpo).  I testing with RoBet at 11dpo and got a negative, then tested again at 13dpo and got a positive.  So, tomorrow is right between those and should hopefully give me a big fat positive result.  I hope.  I'll keep you posted.

Progesterone Results - October 18th, 2011

My nurse gave me a call this morning with my progesterone level results.  They want it to be over 15, and it is 32.6, so we are good to go with that this month.  We will continue the progesterone in oil shots at the same level for now.  If we do wind up being pregnant, this will continue until December 8th.  Fun.  My butt sure is sore on both sides at this point, so it will be a long few months of soreness, but it's worth it if it works out.  For now, we just keep waiting and hoping for the best.

A little blue - October 17th, 2011

I'm a little blue today (as are my embies that remain).  All 8 were going strong as of Saturday, so we had high expectations for how many would be able to be frozen.  Of the 7 that we did not transfer, only 3 made it to freezing.  We lost the grade 3, which we expected, but then also 2 of the grade 2s and one of the grade 1s.  It is the loss of the grade 1 that hits me especially hard, because if one of the perfect embryos wasn't strong enough to make it to be frozen, how likely is it that the single one that is inside me will make it to become a baby?  I am seriously doubting my decision to put back only 1 embryo, and maybe I'd even go so far as to say I am regretting it.  I'm trying to stay hopeful, but I am a worrier by nature, and am very worried right now.  I had my blood drawn to check my progesterone level today, so I should know what that comes back at tomorrow morning.  Hopefully it is nice and high.

I'm PUPO! October 15th, 2011

So as of shortly before 10:00 today, I am pregnant until proven otherwise (PUPO).  It was another challenging experience at the RE's office.  My RE was still not in today, so I had the same doc that I've had for the last few appointments do the transfer.  We arrived at 8:55, as we were told to be there by 9:05 and our transfer time was to be 9:20.  So as 9:05 came and went, we were getting anxious.  I had chugged 20 ounces of water between 8:25 - 8:30 so that I had a nice full bladder for the procedure.  They do an on-the-tummy ultrasound for the transfer, and the full bladder helps them see the uterus better.  Needless to say, the urge to urinate was very strong by 9:20.  We were finally called back to the room at 9:25 - 20 minutes after we were expected to be called back and given the report on our embryos.  We then proceeded to wait another 15 minutes, and by then, I was getting really upset.  I needed to pee very badly, and I expected my embryos would be in me at 9:20 exactly.  These things are usually a science right down to the minute, so waiting was very unexpected.  The doc finally came in and gave us our report on our embryos.  Hubby and I had a very lengthy discussion last night over sushi about what we would do in all sorts of scenarios.  When that report was put in front of me, all my planning went out the window and I was just stammering and uncertain.  Here's how it broke out:

• 1 grade 1 blastocyst
• 1 grade 1 early blastocyst
• 1 grade 2 early blastocyst
• 1 grade 1 morula
• 3 grade 2 morulas
• 1 grade 3 morula

What I did not expect was that so many of them would still be morulas instead of blastocysts and that all 8 would still be growing and dividing.  I had thought about putting back the top embryo and the bottom embryo.  In fact, as of going to bed last night, that is what we had planned to do.  The doc said he would recommend putting back the top 1 or 2 embryos, either decision would be fine.  So what did we decide?  Well, picturing my pregnancy, delivery, and the future of our family, I picture just one at a time.  I picture having one baby to add to our family in 9 months.  I also picture not doing this process again, so sacrificing the extra 12% chance of success was difficult to do, but in the end, we opted to transfer our one top-of-the-line blastocyst.  We hope most if not all of the others make it to be frozen (well, they will not freeze the grade 3, so that one is a loss), but we really have all of our eggs in one basket.  Err, all of our eggs in one egg I guess.  So now we wait.  I have my progesterone level checked on Monday to ensure that the progesterone in oil shots that I am receiving are doing the trick.  If not, they will probably up my dosage.  That would not be fun.  These shots hurt!  And, if I am pregnant, they will continue until December 8th.  Lovely.  heh.  OK, well, that's my update for now.  Now I lay on the couch and rest for the next 2 days so that perfect little emby can settle in.