Sunday, June 12, 2011

Last day of Clomid - June 12, 2011

Today was my last day of Clomid for this cycle. 5 days at 100 mg, and none of the nasty side effects that I had last time! Yay! Well, I did get some headaches, but that is so minor compared to the hot flashes, emotional spells, headaches, and nausea from last time. My ultrasound is scheduled for Friday morning. Hopefully they will find 2 - 3 good sized follicles and a nice thick lining for the embryo to nestle into. Depending on what they find, the IUI will be scheduled for either Sunday or Monday morning of next week - eeek! It's just so exciting for it to be coming up so soon again. And this time it feels so different. I don't have all of the sorrow and loneliness that I felt the first time through these procedures. I feel hopeful, and confident that even if the IUIs do not work, we will still be pregnant by the end of the year. And that's OK. Even though that is 6 months away, it really doesn't feel that long. Sure, I would prefer to be pregnant sooner, but if that isn't what happens, I feel perfectly fine with that. I feel more of a sense of longing for all of the wonderful friends I have made over these past few years who are still waiting for their take-home baby. I just cannot stomach the heartache and loss that so many wonderful women (and men) go through, cycle after cycle. I feel so aware of it now, now that I know what I have learned from Rosalena in this past year. I wish there was something that I could do to help them fill their arms with the child they are dreaming of. Or even if there was a way to lessen their pain as they wait and experience disappointment after disappointment. I guess I'm just rambling now, sorry. Well, on to another week filled with promise and hope.

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