Thursday, August 13, 2009

IUI Cycle #2:Failure - August 13, 2009

My next cycle began today with the start of my period. I knew a few days ago that my body was preparing for it to start, so I'd already begun to grieve. I've realized that some words that I read in an article or book somewhere along the way were very true. At some point along the infertility journey, it ceases to be just a disappointment when a cycle turns out to be negative. It becomes more than disappointment. You begin to grieve the loss of each cycle. Each negative cycle is one more month of your life spent without your children. It is one less month that you will get to enjoy your children as adults, and your grandchildren when you are old. It is not just one month spent doing other things - it is truly a month lost. So I'm going to finish grieving for this loss, and try to look forward to the next cycle, where I just might have a chance to bring those children into existence.