Friday, September 18, 2009
A Different Kind of Waiting - September 18th, 2009
I'm on to a new kind of waiting. A very unpleasant kind. I am now waiting for my baby to detach from my uterus and pass from my body. My level barely rose - only 10% in 3 days to about 670. The thought is that it probably topped out a few days ago and is now starting to decline. I will go back on Monday to confirm that. One more needle stick to go with all of the holes and bruises on my arm, since only one vein shows itself anymore. I honestly never dreamed that this would happen to me. I thought that once my husband's swimmers were successful at reaching and penetrating my egg, we'd be home free. That is not the case it would seem. There isn't any reason that they can give me for why this is happening. It just happens. Why does all the bad stuff "just happen" to me? I feel so beat up right now. One week ago I had to take the day off of work because I was so elated that I couldn't focus. Today I am so far from elated, that I barely even remember the meaning of the word. Why me? I know, a stupid, pointless question that really doesn't have an answer. But still, why me?